Deadpan corporate swag — headset operator in an oval badge, gradient swoosh — like it was printed for an employee appreciation day at a call center in 2004 and appreciated exactly once. YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US, it says, over the stat that gives the game away: AVERAGE WAIT, 47 MINUTES. Everyone alive has served time in hold-music purgatory, that eight-bar smooth-jazz loop you begin to hallucinate on hour two. I've started narrating the wait like a nature documentary. The shirt understands. Your call was never important. The shirt, at least, is honest about it. Printed on the Bella + Canvas 3001 — soft, lightweight airlume cotton with a retail unisex fit.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!